so yesterday ifinally got my itouch back juss so ican listen to music at thee gym and luckily my mom let me have it from their on out. Unfortunately everything seemed too good to be true. and it turns out it was good for some time (no more than 24 hours). idid exactly what iwanted today and felt accomplished by how much idanced and acquired to my mmoves. Till later that night my mom told me to sit on the couch and watch the news with her. iwas lik… sure. then isat down. even before glancing at thee t.v. i already knew what it was about. Its nawt thee first and wont be thee last time she makes me watch news about immigrants working in fields. -_- so since ikinda already figured thee main plot of thee news icontinued what ialways do… DANCE! and since im more comfortable with my parents, ido more extreme dancing, such as bone breaks that iwouldnt ordinarily do in class and what nawt… eventually istarted doing things that ibarely learned that same day till it came to a point where ihad to focus more on my moves rather than thee t.v. so after no more than 3 minutes. my mom asks me what was thee news about, and itell her thee main plot. then shes lik “No, tell me everything the news was about” obviously iwasnt funna tell everything, 1. cuhs idont have good memory and cant remember much and 2. iwasnt really paying attention to news. So after complete silence, she got hella mad at me and was lik “give me yer hpone” lik wow! iwas only reading a txt cuhs ifound out my photos are on a dance webste. Getwetent.com Yee! she didnt really care tho, 3 minute news is more important than me being on a website according to her. then blabering went on and then somehow my step dad got in thee convo ans he started saying sum shit lik yer always on yer laptop, when you could be doing something productive like cleaning or tryna find a job. of course they wouldnt say dance. well cuhs iwasnt looking eye to eye with him, he took my laptop and said you’ll get it back when you go back to school. Unfortunately it starts in 3 weeks, buh anyways… he tryna come at me lik im all bad when ispend hours on thee internet tryna search dance, watch a movie or be on facebook. well im nawt all bad, cuhs ibelieve you have similarities lik me, if awt then worst. you are always on yer phone, lik WTF! thee reason why we at thee gym for so long is cuhs you ALWAYS on yer phone, you stay on thee treadmill for an hour while talkin on thee phone. iasked one day who it was and you said one of yer friends, either thee girl from chicago or from ny. for some reason its lik you cant be on thee phone when my mom is around, which is why you randomly go on car rides, long walks, and long ass drives to thee gym and back from a workout. idk if mom knows about it… well last time iwent to thee ihad music, now im back to my old ways, tryna workout wit no slap is hard!!! ivee been doin it for so long now, and still havent gotten used to it, prolly cuhs music is life! one day with my itouch and now arond 1,200 songs are gone again. how is a dancer suppose to make do with no slaps, only radio songs that are around 7 months old and are ALWAYS overplayed. ugh! in thee end of a random arguement/punishment… im basically in more house lock down… its nawt fun… and thee way you say to me… im a waste of time! immigrants are working their ass off and are still way betrtuh than you. You have no idea how much shit you put me through. yea im tryna look at it through their perspective buh how can iwhen you say iaint worth it, im shit, and everyones bettuh than me. if you dont remember, ihave a limit and once that had met, their is never a return… iwish icould tell you that thee way you try to get to me isnt working, buh if i show weakness, inoe you’ll use it against me juss lik last time. only thing on my mind is… this will make me sooooo much stringer in thee future, buh thats only if ican get through it and idk if ican even do that. im one step closer and once im at thee top of thee staircase, im dropping with no standing up.
is their hate in my eyes? are these bullshit lies made to make me stronger or cumble down and under, lik my fear of thunder? …hmm… iwonder… is this pain suppose to turn into glory? or will it in thee end turn out gory? Too many damn questions and no mothafuckin anwers!
Where do i start with you. I cant believe the things we’ve gone thru as a couple and some what friends. I cant explain how much love i have towards you. You’ve made me happy in our small 7 months than anyone has. You met me and i was a hot mess. I couldnt believe me being high…
“ There ain’t nothing strong enough to keep me away from you. There can be a wall of fire - ten feet or higher, I would walk on through. Where there once was only room for one, wherever there will be two. That’s why I travel all this way for you. Seconds make minutes, make hours, make days; I’ve added it all up a million ways. Multiply that times the fact that when I’m with you, I feel brand new. That’s why I travel all this way for you.”—David Ryan Harris,For You (via chelseababy)
This isnt the poem yet but the story behind it is that i tried gettin over someone that was clearly ment to stay in my life. The boy i tried moving on with was nothin compared to the man that i was with. When it came down to it i finally said no more and stop talking to him to repatch things with…
… till infintiy and beyond, even if G.O.D. says no any thee date doesnt exist no more…
i know you wana see me fall i know you rather see me lose it all Buh im a winner! i was put on this world to make a difference. Thee world is my playground …thee birds have left thee cage im ready to do it my way now. Im willing to die for thee cause thats the difference between me and Yall! To be thee best you have to beat the best. Im undefeated and ima never back down you Fuckin clown!haha
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